Hermitage with Innernets

One of my greatest fears came through today. The last time I had been as devastated was two years ago and I can still remember it clearly in bright, searing colours. Today will be one of those days that I will remember even though I do not want to, and when I do, I will see all the things I wished I could have done differently.

They hated it. I hated it. The past two days had been a battle of thoughts, of staying or leaving. I dreamt of release and release came today just like it was in the dream. However in the dream I was happy and relieved. Today, sitting here after the receiving the news, I feel anything but that. All I can think of is how adept I am at ruining myself. More reason to desire to be a hermit (with internet connection). As you grow you learn and discover even more flaws that you never knew were there. You are more sure, with age, of what you are not.

Hello freedom to Facebook all day long.

A Thermoplastic-Promise of Better Days Ahead

Like any other year, Valentine's Day was spent at home, with the movie channel and good food. I got a takeaway dinner of tom yam noodles and plonked myself in front of the TV. Maybe I was thinking too much, or perhaps have inherited some of my mother's paranoid sense of paranoia, but I felt eyes averting to me as I stood at the cafe waiting for my order in my less than stellar house t-shirt, crumpled shorts and pulled up hair. Alone, and not looking like she'll be having company later over tom yam noodles.

At least the noodles were nice. It had clams and squid in it.



A new Starbucks tumbler to mark the beginning of many good days ahead. Many days of chic plastic thermos-dangling and discounts. Many days of warm, mobile supply of coffee. I am stoked. Surprise/no-occasion presents are the best things ever. It's paraded next to my side project, in the only corner of my table clean enough for a picture.

Today turned out to be remarkably bad but your kind thought saved the day.

Unicorn Love

Paper cardboard unicorn with wings spotted at the third floor of the National Art Gallery. We had to resist carting it away home with us.

Shuffle Shuffle

1. Your Hand in Mine - Explosions in the Sky
2. How My Heart Behaves - Feist
3. Volcano - Damien Rice
4. Lie in the Sound - Trespassers William
5. Know How - Kings of Convenience
6. The Only Moment We're Alone - Explosions in the Sky
7. Closer - Travis
8. Marching Bands of Manhattan - Death Cab for Cutie
9. Love is No Big Truth - Kings of Convenience
10. Life in Technicolor - Coldplay
11. Look into the Air - Explosions in the Sky
12. For the Widows in Paradise, for the Fatherless in Ypsilanti - Sufjan Stevens
13. Speeding Cars - Imogen Heap
14. Challengers - The New Pornographers
15. The Limit to Your Love - Feist
16. Rootless Tree (Live @ Abbey Road) - Damien Rice
17. Magic Hours - Explosions in the Sky
18. Lost! - Coldplay
19. Lille - Lisa Hannigan
20. To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens


Accompaniment for tonight's activities. Stocking up on coffee in a bit.

My air-conditioner is behaving rather oddly.

Thank You God for Brave Friends

Spock the Christmas Sock Munkey and Anastasia Beaverhausen.

Today I am thankful for brave friends who are willing to encroach into the unknown, endure bizarre car rides and characters who have seemingly jumped out of a Gossip Girl book. For friends who are brave enough to trust that I've been honest. For friends who have endured my strange moments of peculiarity, and those who were brave enough to remain with me while I cried and wiped snot.

For friends who'll give me their (unused) fork to save a walk to the cutlery stand. For friends who were brave enough to stick around long and long after.

You guys are made of awesome.

Car park disco-dancing to Madonna at the foot of Kilburn hill.

Scotty refuses to work, so I had cheese-flavoured chips. Later I will lug him downstairs to the tattered home PC where he'll be (hopefully) accepted and understood. All-in-one printers don't generally look good as paperweights.

I am terrified. My current freelance project is weighing down my mind and my hours and deadlines have been prescribed. And there is research to be done. There is something about working to order: the guidelines keep you from going overboard, but there's always fear and trepidation that the customer will hate the work you've come up with.

No more sleeping late and sleeping in or whittling away time with abandon. Purpose feels good in long days of idleness. Terrifying, but a good kind of terrifying at least.

On another note, watching the evening news on the local political upheaval in Perak infuriated me today. Whoever thought that it could be this upsetting. Sleight of words to contain subtle propaganda are things that don't escape me. Your newsreaders should really stop sounding like solicitors for humanitarian aid and smug upholders of your idea of justice and truth. Berita TV3, you go down. I am never tuning in again, ever.

I am devastated. A little by the recent political shake-up and some unkind words, but mostly by the fact my multitasking printer refuses to work. It was a gift from some really awesome friends, and I named it Scotty the Scanner. Some googling revealed that Scotty's kind does not hook up with the Windows Vista crowd. A few reboots and many drivers later, I feel like a character stuck in a movie with an inevitable end in death.

Last night I managed to catch a friend on a student radio station talking about Harold Pinter. While listening to a strange playlist I also caught a heated discussion on occupations: students illegally squatting in university buildings in dissent over the Gaza situation.

Workshop this Sunday at the National Art Gallery and at a shelter on Monday (yay for endless public holidays!). Stoked, also because this will be my first foray into the gallery. I hope I will not be disappointed. And also because it involves cardboard boxes. Cardboard boxes = versatile fun.

Alright. If this last attempt to save Scotty doesn't work, I'm going down to watch TV and munch on cheese-flavoured chips.