A World That Runs on Truth

I don't know if it is truth over the other side of the world where this quote came from, but it is near truth for me; though out of choice, not otherwise.

The obligatory Chinese New Year activities are almost done with: the slow trudging drive home on heaving highway, awkward hellos and consequent silence, sitting on couches and watching variety shows on TV, relatives nosing about career and marriage prospects, relatives on the karaoke machine, blackjack gambling and beer cans, hot dry weather-

This year I brought my drawing book, pen and some Pinter.







Flexing the fingers for more illustrating work for a new picture book project. The storyline is great, which makes work more challenging enjoyably challenging. It's about nature conservation, so the next few days there will be plenty of staring at pictures of tigers and monkeys.

Wishing you many prosperous oxen prancing in the fields of happiness this lunar new year.

Gracias

Last weekend while at tea with some friends, we were given sheets of paper and pencils to write down what we are most thankful for. I didn't think games were a real part of post-tea activities, but here's what I wrote down:

I Am Thankful For...

1. Umbrellas
2. Coffee
3. My brother's recovery

Every time I see him I feel the need to let him know how much he is loved.



After a week of holing up in the house and entertaining myself and my imaginary friends, I have decided that it is time to see some sunlight. Plus, I really need to stock up on some toiletries.

Kitchen Sink Epiphanies

My mother is laughing hilariously downstairs at the Bean movie. Amusing, pleasant yet scary. I am not really sure how to respond.

Made enough pasta to feed a tiny village-cooking gives one a sense of purpose. I am searching for the fulfillment of purpose in the arms of a barely-equipped kitchen. One recipe had called for minced garlic, and not having a spiffy handheld mincing device, I had to resort to mashing with the back of a spoon.

I realised yesterday while at the sink that it has been almost more than a year since I have written a play. Being in an art collective and constantly being surrounded by people who are artists have turned me into a heartless (well, almost), realistically practical person who thinks of the mechanics first. I love artists - they are brave enough to feel, dream and ignore reason. Somedays I think I can be one. But perhaps being in a group that needed to keep its wheels running has brought out a side that feels the need to compensate. Planning needs to be done, accounts have to be balanced, people need to eat and trash has to be taken out.

I think it's time to return to the craft and make something of my own. Far too many ideas have been left to die, and it's beginning to look like a massacre site.

Instant Souvenir II

The Loh Bak Lady and the Apam Man from Penang.

Day 14

It is two weeks into the new year and it has done nothing for my uncertain state of almost everything.

Today afternoon was spent with good company and cold Coronas, cheesecake and chips. Even when life is uncertain you can always still have a picnic.

Last week we were at a youth lifestyle convention flooded with kids with ill-fitting skinny pants and punk aspirations who think it's hip to generously spew foreign political propaganda. It was also amazing to see how many of them own digital SLRs - if those things were machine guns they could take over the world. Our interactive art session was however, mostly lost in the mumbled lyrics and violent volume of the rock/grunge/heavy metal/noisy bands playing close by. Perhaps some common sense in the organising would have been nice, but all hope for that was lost when we saw that the food stalls were placed next to the live grafitti area.


I need to spend time on my knees and wait and listen closely, and perhaps rearrange some furniture.

My friend's kidlets in spiffy clothes getting ready for their aunt's wedding.

Instant Souvenir

A surprise came through Facebook from a friend who lives in Australia. Thanks Sarah!

The tag says 'Peterborough'. And it looks amazingly clean. Aces.

Pseudo Artist Person

Nothing inspires us more than the things we are fearful or uncertain of. Needless to say, the same is reflected (or proven) in our ongoing art installation at Findars. I'm not sure if seagulls are a valid fear, but having your fish and chips attacked at is an extremely real one.

It is quiet and still today and I woke up early enough to catch the smell of the morning. Before this I would have lamented on how empty it feels, especially after days of constant doing and moving. But now, I am grateful. Grateful for the days I can do absolutely nothing, save for laundry and emails. There will always be dirty clothes and unanswered emails.

Last weekend's show was decent enough, and the guys at the gallery have agreed to allow us to keep exhibiting until they need those walls back, or when things start falling off. It was fun playing artist, if only up until the point I got so sick of shifting through paper, kneading blue-tack and assembling the wall that I had to go out and get myself a waffle and a short walk.



I got another Moleskine as a present and will attempt to draw a page a day.


p/s: I even found an old photo of Whitby seagulls and promptly made it into a spanking new header. Huzzah.

09

Hello 2009.

While waiting for you I ate takeaway pizza and watched two movies in a row while down with an odd attack of flu. My face feels like it's being kneaded to make bread.

I still don't know what to make of you. I am not even sure that you would be kind - but not in the perilous-economic-lay off sense of the word. Something inside of me is letting tell that you could be unremarkable if I allow it to be, and lonely.

If there is something I need to ask or seek for, is to be able to see. To learn to love and learn to be loved. For life. Yes, life.